Monday, October 15

Break my hands



I feel like God is revealing to me that there are a lot of things I cling to and take comfort in. There are a lot of things I am afraid of that aren't right. Most the time recently I even feel motivated by the gospel, but always I feel like Paul in Romans 7, where I'm doing what I know is wrong and I'm doing want I don't want to do. Sometimes I see the satisfaction

Tuesday, October 9

Katie...Katie...Katie



Katie Kessler makes my life glad. God uses her in such incredible ways, it's so encouraging. And she's a cutie pie...this is her in a sunflower field:)

Monday, October 8

Resolution


I'm making a resolution to continue to write...we'll see.

Today I went to Huston Woods to clear my mind and sit in the presence of the Lord, and just be still. I think that's the first time I've ever done that. Courtney Hurrle sent me this pretty powerful excerpt from one of her favorite books..."If there is any focus that the Christian leader of the future will need, it is the discipline of dwelling in the presenece of the one who keeps asking us, "do you love me? do you love me? do you love me? It is the discipline of contemplative prayer. through contemplative prayer we can keep ourselves from being pulled from one urgent issue to another and from becoming strangers to our own and god's heart. contemplative prayer keeps us home, rooted and safe, even when we are on the road, moving from place to place, and often surounded by sounds of violence and war. contemplative prayer deepens in us the knowledge that we are already free, that we have already found a place to dwell, that we already belong to god, even though everything and everyone around us keeps suggesting the opposite. it is not enough for the priests and ministers of the future to be moral people, well trained, eager to help their fellow humans, and able to respond creatively to the burning issues of their time. all of that is very valuable and important, but it is not the heart of christian leadership. the central question is, are the leaders of the future truly men and women of God, people with an ardent desire to dwell in God's presence, to listen to god's' voice, to look at god's beauty, to touch God's incarnate word and to taste fully god's infinite goodness? the original meaning of the word "theology" was "union with God in prayer." today theology has become one academic discipline alongside many other, and often theologians are finding it hard to pray. but for the future of christian leadership it is of vital importance to reclaim the mystical aspect of theiology so that every word spoken, every advice given, and every strategy developed can come from a heart that knows god intimately...christian leaders cannot simply be persons who have well-informed opinions about the burning issues of our time. their leadership must be rooted in the permanent, intimate relationship with the incarnate word, jesus, and they need to find there the source for their words, advice, and guidance. through the discipline of contemplative prayer, christian leaders have to learn to listen again and again to the voice of love and to find there the wisdom and courage to address whatever issue presents itself to them. dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with god easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject. but when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative. For christian leadership to be truly fruitful in the future, a movement from the moral to the mystical is required." -"In the name of Jesus" by Henri Nouwen
So she suggested I go be still and sit in solitude and my heart hasn't felt that way, ever before.