Friday, December 7

so lets face it

how safe

it is

to

feel

safe

Sunday, December 2

here I go again


out on my own
days are getting longer
the nights are cold
I'm making my way down
this narrow road
time is moving faster
and I am moving slow

My Redeemer is going to carry me home.

Bring me back to that secret place.

Sh.Pia.

Friday, November 30

like that firework over the freeway



and until the Day
I wrap my fingers
around
that
grace
I will be elsewhere
but belong to You
like melted wax
or feet on a staircase
I belong to you
that I am poor,yet rich
but mostly poor
they drive by
they don't know what's inside
stairs creek and boards shake
with you they will
and with You they won't
You never gave up and
I never give in
I will be there until that Day

Monday, October 15

Break my hands



I feel like God is revealing to me that there are a lot of things I cling to and take comfort in. There are a lot of things I am afraid of that aren't right. Most the time recently I even feel motivated by the gospel, but always I feel like Paul in Romans 7, where I'm doing what I know is wrong and I'm doing want I don't want to do. Sometimes I see the satisfaction

Tuesday, October 9

Katie...Katie...Katie



Katie Kessler makes my life glad. God uses her in such incredible ways, it's so encouraging. And she's a cutie pie...this is her in a sunflower field:)

Monday, October 8

Resolution


I'm making a resolution to continue to write...we'll see.

Today I went to Huston Woods to clear my mind and sit in the presence of the Lord, and just be still. I think that's the first time I've ever done that. Courtney Hurrle sent me this pretty powerful excerpt from one of her favorite books..."If there is any focus that the Christian leader of the future will need, it is the discipline of dwelling in the presenece of the one who keeps asking us, "do you love me? do you love me? do you love me? It is the discipline of contemplative prayer. through contemplative prayer we can keep ourselves from being pulled from one urgent issue to another and from becoming strangers to our own and god's heart. contemplative prayer keeps us home, rooted and safe, even when we are on the road, moving from place to place, and often surounded by sounds of violence and war. contemplative prayer deepens in us the knowledge that we are already free, that we have already found a place to dwell, that we already belong to god, even though everything and everyone around us keeps suggesting the opposite. it is not enough for the priests and ministers of the future to be moral people, well trained, eager to help their fellow humans, and able to respond creatively to the burning issues of their time. all of that is very valuable and important, but it is not the heart of christian leadership. the central question is, are the leaders of the future truly men and women of God, people with an ardent desire to dwell in God's presence, to listen to god's' voice, to look at god's beauty, to touch God's incarnate word and to taste fully god's infinite goodness? the original meaning of the word "theology" was "union with God in prayer." today theology has become one academic discipline alongside many other, and often theologians are finding it hard to pray. but for the future of christian leadership it is of vital importance to reclaim the mystical aspect of theiology so that every word spoken, every advice given, and every strategy developed can come from a heart that knows god intimately...christian leaders cannot simply be persons who have well-informed opinions about the burning issues of our time. their leadership must be rooted in the permanent, intimate relationship with the incarnate word, jesus, and they need to find there the source for their words, advice, and guidance. through the discipline of contemplative prayer, christian leaders have to learn to listen again and again to the voice of love and to find there the wisdom and courage to address whatever issue presents itself to them. dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with god easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject. but when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative. For christian leadership to be truly fruitful in the future, a movement from the moral to the mystical is required." -"In the name of Jesus" by Henri Nouwen
So she suggested I go be still and sit in solitude and my heart hasn't felt that way, ever before.

Tuesday, April 17

black to White



As darkness squints
new day comes
refreshing availability
smell of growth
dusk turns to Dawn

when threatened
black streaks through
days will be beat
triumph will resound
Light will remain
only Light will remain

negative space
filled all at once
brick upon brick
stone upon stone
water trickles at the sight

there is Freedom
indescribable Freedom
objects of wind
objects of wrath
run and bow
in glorious shades

As darkness squints
new day comes
refreshing silence
dusk to Dawn
dusk to Dawn

dark to Light
sin to Life
black to White

Wednesday, April 11

hope finds a home

It's encouraging to be able to see that God is enabling me to put my hope in Him. Inch by inch. My mom does not know the Lord, there has been some landmarks and some 'seeing her need for Christ' moments, but she doesn't know Him which is hard. Today I had a conversation with her and I told her that Audrey and I picked up a hitchhiker the other day, 'cause I thought it could potentially be a neat conversation, she was kinda mad that I did and made me promise her I'd not do it again. I asked her what the worst thing that could happen would be, and she said death. Really death would not be all that bad, considering God's will is perfect and pleasing, and since Jesus died, I have eternity before Him, so really that is the best thing that could happen to me and I told her that and she told me I need to save myself, and I told her I can't, God calls us to serve His children, and she was like "can't you do it in other ways?" and I said yea, and she's like well try to do that. I told her that Jesus walked straight through Samaria, she didn't care and said I don't need to do that, and that I don't care about myself enough. Which was encouraging. We kinda hung out all evening and later she told me she didn't think I was happy, and it was kinda wierd. Really it was the 1st time none of that bothered me. It was the first time my mom, who I love was feeding me Satans lies, and I was so sure of what God has stored up for me through Jesus. I need to not defend myself so much though when I'm with my mom, and just love her the way God calls me to, that beats words.

If you pray, pray for this: on my way home tonight I saw the 2nd worst accident I've ever seen in my life, and one of the people died, I have no clue who it is, but God does, so pray for the familyand friends. Trust that He will be glorified. Pray that He'll remind us we are worthy of the death that Jesus died, Pray that everyone would be reminded to put their hope in God.